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Wednesday, April 16, 2003

Well, this is it fellow fans, the last stand of Michael Jordan happening as I type! There really doesnt seem like anything more can be written about this. I mean he is hero to a nation that has more white sportswriters in stunted adolescence than it knows what to do with , for whom this comeback is like buying a 2004 Ford Mustang with airbags( for the old ones), and paying $250 for 2 tickets and a wolfgang puck pizza at the Stones last show at a smoke free arena (for the young ones) ......
cuz hes retired thrice, comback thrice, played young, played old, won 6 championships, worked the front office, made a movie with the tasmanian devil..... but there can never be too much analysis of this american hero and his Bobby-Bland personality , where there is No Love in the Heart of the City!!!

We at wizznutzz send Salirri a Juan DIxon Antispetic Bacon Dispenser and 12 AA batteries, but espn is not so understaetd:
of course espn is very geeked out. Their home page is all Sally, all the time. I bet they didnt even ask all these nebs to write, they showed up under the door, woith an empty kleenex boix. Heres a run down:

Mark STein kicks it off with some Jibba Jabba

Bill SImmons on Page 2, well hes downright hilarious. Such as when he says

You have the most competitive athlete of his generation, a guy who would have ripped Kwame Brown's heart out of his chest "Temple Of Doom"-style back in the day, and he's suddenly content to waste away his waning years with this motley crew? It was like Garry Shandling folding the great "Larry Sanders Show," then coming back three years later to launch a sitcom with Mario Lopez and the Olson Twins.

Then there is MJs top 40 Moments!!! But Im a bit confused as to why "Beating Bobby SImmons in bacon eating contest" and "has sex with strange white woman" didnt make the list.

Then there is MJs top commercials!!! Oddly absent, MJ speaking the words "SOmetimes Nature Gets it Wrong" when pitching a scented feminine product.

The nthere is talk of the future for MJ, stuff aboiut reacquiring equity, but nothing about reacquiring Kwamistice,

ANd Ric Beucher chimes in, with this line:
I just don't see how it helps Jordan, Wiz Prez, for his alter-ego to announce one more time how lame the rest of the current roster is. It's like Superman telling everyone what a rag the Daily Planet is. How's that going to help Clark Kent do his job?

and lots lots, oh there is ltos more, over at espn.
ANd tributes over at insidehoops, at at Foxsports here, here and gibberish here about trading Kwame.

And a Jordanfest 2k3 at USAtoday sports.

And the Washington Post, have plenty to say too:
Black man Michael "Black Michael Mann" Wilbon expresses disappointment at a piss-weak Jordan send-off at the MCI Center.
Everybody seems to agree the whole affair was Tres Boulez.

STeve Wyche talks about MJ and Mr Drummond sitting down this offseason and saying things to each other like "I still repspect you Michael" and "I feel uncomfortable with you taking pictures of me in this slight tarzan outfit, Sir"
Steve Wyche also suggests that if MJ dont come back, JStack would be happy, and that Wes Unsled, the Misses Garrett of the Association, might take over duties in her firm but wise ways.

And fave scribe Rachel Nichols writes finely and with vigor about a swamp of bitterness, and says such classical things like:

" When he plays his final game in Philadelphia tonight, it may not be about domination at all or even harmony; it may be an ending of self-discovery, of flexing a muscle one last time just to stretch its limitations."

If Salieri was so pent up to discover himslef, he could have learned from Kwame, who is coming into his supple and pert present!

and :

"All those guys who took away from their games this year are going to find out what he brought" when he retires, Collins said. "Be careful what you wish for."

Sounds like Phantom cant wait for us to lose agin next year!

And Kornheiser suits up in his wrestliong togs and takes aim at the Kwame bashers!


SO much drama in the land of wizards these days. WOW the wizards are getting monster press, mostly cause of MJleaving anjd because the whole thing just turned into Falcon Crest. SO there will lots on analysis, and odes, incites and futuring to come soon on wizznutzz daily.

The offseason is our time to shine!!! what with all the "brass" getting together an being brassy with each other, and trading away things llike height and youth, scouting 10 day contract prospects, and drafting local guys real high. The summer is also the time for Rod STrickland to go a drinking!!!!

James - 7:53 PM




The Wizznutzz experts commentaries on the 2002-03 season. Updated frequently!!!