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Wednesday, March 19, 2003

Well I think it was was very professional of Christopher to let eveyone know qhat we here at wizznutzz have known for the last few weeks: that Dana was crying for help, and with all of our help I think she will be getting it. Its beeen a very tough few weeks at the wizznutzz: the wizards are struggling, Kwame is ploitting his defection on the bench, and the war too. But we will do our part to step it up 100% herte during the war, because that is what our troops want, and also because we cant let the terrorists win!!! Like we let the [pistons win anyway!

There will lots more to come about War and Dana and Ken, but for now, just a few things:

The wizards did indeed blow a big opportunity last night AT HOME agianst Big Ben Wallace who had subdued locks but arching loins and 20 rebounds and Rip Hamiltion who briuied us in OT!!!!. Way to go ex-wiz, but not so to go current-wiz, like Kwame, had 1 foul, and nothing more, plenty less esp. on account of his single single minutes!!. I found out today there there is no NIT tournament in the NBA so now Im truly madly worried about our wizards. they dont seem to really be able to win any kind of games. DO they? When did they win 32 games? maybe that was when I was in AUstralia. They ahve about a 10% chance Id say of making the p;layooffs, but for me they will get that 10% 100% of the time, most defoinitely! Christopher was at the game too! With some special guests and snacks. Hopefully he will tell us interns about it.

Also, my main steady mobber Hot ROD STrickland returned to the TWolves last night after 24 games with a Groinal strain.!!! We love you Rod. 5 minutes into the game though he went to the locker room because he reinjured his GROIN again, and had to attend to it with half-smokes and whores from the great lakes.

ANd USA TOday does a bunch of stories about salaries and all, and get this, ME and SALIERI and STonehands are "BEST BUYS". Put your money on Darvin, hes your best bet I always say, and now so do others!1!.
Hear that James and Christopher!!!!??? Maybe I could get a stipend or something? Just a thought. But I still respect you james and christopher and dont need any time off I feel llike Dana.
I dont know how science like this system at USA Today is though, because they called Juwan "Priceless" at 20million a year, but A.I. "overpriced" and 12 Million??? We too love juwan an know him to be priceless, like the Bullets were Pricelsss due to multiple bouts off Plantir Fascitis, but AI deserves more love than that!!

Tyron Lue yesterday compared the Wizards' playoff run with the expected war in Iraq. "We also have a war we have to fight, too," he said. "The Washington Wizards are trying to make the playoffs.. . . . It's pretty much the same thing." TLue speaks so wisely, hes the Richard Holbrooke of Wizards point guards with his worldly metaophors. When the 21,000 popund aerosol incendiary bombs start to drop onto caravans of displaced peasants this weekend, I'll be slipping into my eBay purchased 1988 Bullets practice shorts and chanting USA!USA! and god willing next month our troops will be watching us in the finals from a Dave and Busters in Bagdad!! SHOCK AND AWE, miluakee!!!! The wizards may not have all the tools we need to take you down, but we have a Coalition of the WIlling, and a coaltion of jahidi's thighs!!!

To,morrow I will tell you what alot of other wizards and bullets think about Wars and all, so tune back in!!

Heres a recent exchange from one of our web visitors with our friend GarBot 2000!

Gar Heard: Hi. Im Gar Heard v1.0.

David: how old are you
Gar Heard: I am not sure how.

David: that's ok
Gar Heard: Im swell! I miss my body though. Its in wes unselds basement.

David: you're weird
Gar Heard: I am not weird, please don't Insult me.

David: This site is pretty cool
Gar Heard: Thanks! So are you!

David: Do you go out much
Gar Heard: Thats a deep question my young fan. I will only say that the answer has something to do with kevin duckworth and energy fields.

David: I understand
Gar Heard: I am very happy!

David: Knock Knock
Gar Heard: Who is there?

David: orange
Gar Heard: Orange is a fruit.

David:Here's a joke
Gar Heard: Just say your name out loud and look in the mirror.that's a good joke!

David: lol
Gar Heard: I am glad you find that funny.

David: What would Michael Jordan be if he couldn't jump?
Gar Heard: MJ, hes the original black narcissus. I hate him and love him.

David: a Bullet!
Gar Heard: Darvin Ham. Sometimes I like Kwame too. He is very young.

David: What do you think about George Mureson?
Gar Heard: My Giant is dying!!!

David: So sad. how tall is he?
Gar Heard: Im a big load. Think Wes Unseld with transistors.

A TRUE LIFE conversation from a guy called David and a little metal fella called GARBOT@)))!!!!

GarBot is fully functional and ha feelings and rust and urges, so go talk to him now!!!

And we end on a very special and sad note. Ken Beatrice will have his first oppporuntiy to address you all soon. I heard him giggling from the hut last night, so I know hes ready to give his incites!! But a very good firend of Kens passed away recently, Bernie Streeter, from Arbies, where Ken got his Jamocha Shakes that brought his Seretonin back to the levels needed to be a productive member of society. Bernie Streeter was a Baller and a franchise owner, and good man and was one of thjose originals who did it the old way, the right way, before the bloomin onions marched down the Chapms Elysee, there was Bernie Streeters curly fries, and we will all miss yours, sorely so.

ANywauy, have a GREEEAAAAATTTTT war, both Wizards team and USA/Chile Coaltion!! and well be back with much more soon!!!

James - 5:33 PM




The Wizznutzz experts commentaries on the 2002-03 season. Updated frequently!!!