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Wednesday, March 05, 2003

Tallyhoo me mates!!! Darvin is back from the colonies, and back with a heaving scrum, buckety bang bang walkabout, and a royal punch in the undies!! Wow, thanks for stepping it 100% and 50% while I was upon the floating turd. So much happened while I was away!!!. But first off, here is a still life I composed while in Australia:

I call it "FEARPOUCH: Still Life with Bullets Jersey and Dead Wallaby."

A wallaby is like a Kangaroo but smaller and more docile, just like Jim Lynam is a smaller more docile version of Australian film legend Yahoo Serious!!!
See Jim Lynam magically morph into Mr Yahoo Serious right here!!!.
Now I sort of understanbd what Ken means when he talks about the back of his eyelids being alive when hes in the mothering hut!!

Things are great in AUstralia, but diffeent. Whereas we eat Executive Nachos, Australians eat Pasties. I havnt had so much pastie since Jim McIlvaine played in Washington! They also use "Ryming slang" there. For an example they called me "DumbledoreSlam", cause Dumbledore is a wizard from Harry Potter, and Potter rimes with Potted meat, which is Spam which rimes with HAMSlam!!
Me i like comedy where people fall over and stuff. But thoise Auzzies , They are so incredibly clever!

So the wizrads have gone to the loo while I was gone!! Jahidi is back, and is performing well as a counterlever on the bench is see. His only rebounds i see are hypoglycemic rebounds. As for jahidis legal woes, we dont support hostilities to women up to 100%, but we believe in the system also. Over at NBA.com, you can email Wizards conditioning coach Jim Hughes. Mr Hughes is the keeper of Jahidi and got him the body he has today, and is a bestselling nutrition auther, famous for creating a new food pyramid that replaces fish, fruit AND vegetables with faygo cream soda. Jahidi, in court, you should present for the defense the sugar high theory!!.

Its March so that means injuries, bulge, not being in the playoff seeds, and 10 day comntract time!! Anthony Goldwire bought ANdrew Gazes 10-day contract off Ebay for $290!!! Anthony Goldwire reminds me of a young Jeff McInnes. Best thing about Big Ant Goldstein is that he comes from the Yakama Sunkings, and WHO should be his point guard for the Sunkings but MITCHELL BUTLER!
Wow picking Anthony over Muitchell must have been hard. Like when you go to the pound and mom says "just ONE dog darvin". whichever dog you take you still feel sad. But you get over it, and then the dog goes to dog heaven, which it turns out is in a green plastic bag at the tip.

As for Kwame, I feel a great sadness. WHile he was getting DNPs and smallhanded minutes, I developed a sympathy rash for him, under the hot austalian sun. I underdstand that sometimes Kwame is a bit out of it early in games, but thats because he is what the Yiddish call a "luftmensch", an impractical contemplative person having no definite business. A luftmensh means "air man" in German. Someone who always seems to have his head in the clouds? Kwame is such an airy appellation, floating on facile wings. But the children are our future and there dreams are our future. We could all be part of one big Kwame dream, like in the Matrix movie. That woukd explain why I spent all of last weekend dicing shallots and exploring my soft body in the mirror.

Only air-man Kwmae can lead us into the promised land of buttermilk and playoffs, like a black Brigham Young!!!

James - 3:11 PM




The Wizznutzz experts commentaries on the 2002-03 season. Updated frequently!!!