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Friday, May 09, 2003

 
Washignton Wizzards fired Illinois-based executive Michael Saleri Jordan!!! NEws at 11!! 10 pm central time, where me and Dana are!!!

John Thompson alleges racial bias on his radio show!!!! Salieri's awful performance as an executive not withstanding!!! And Michael Black thanksgiving Wilbon implies racial bias, and tells the Orangeman Tony "I Used to Be a Writer, Now I Hack" Kornheiser that this decision falls on racial lines!!! Wes Unseld's longtime running this franchise into the ground not withstanding!!!! SAleri was also fired because under that duct tape, he's a woman!!!!! MR. Drummon doesn't like non-Males either, which is why Susan Omalley has been packing up and acting like a man all these years!!! "HER" SKIRT, "HER" RULES!!!! Meanwhile, a very perceptive and perturbed Dr. Sally Jenkins says calls Thompson and Wilbon both bozos!!!

For a blow by blow of the legendary meeting according to friends of associates of cousins of Teddy E-mail, look at this story!!! Then look at our quotes from the meeting, taken from a hidden Microphone the WizzNutzz hid in Tedd Leonsis' midsection!!! (How did Christopehr and James do it? That's for them to know, and Mr. Leonsis' surgeon to find out!!!)

Saleiri said to Mr Drummonds Poloin, " You damn Doby the House Elf, why don't you just build some Fanny Mae houses and help some poor people, you senile old coot!! And put on some pants!!!!"

Mr. Montgomery Burns Drummond Polin said to SAlieri, "Why don't you just go to Charlotte and make that expansion franchise a playoff contender in 3 years, you extremely well paid but hardly endowed man, while I will run this team until I'm 105 and I will hire more competnat people like Gar Heard Robot and will miss the playoffs for 26 more years? Hmmm? Hmmmm? HMMMMM??? "

And Mr Teddy Email says to no one in particular, "I still respect you, bacon."

Mr. Thomas Boseewlell calls for Abe to Sell the team, as does our Main Fellow David Aldridge, which we WizzNutzz would agree with were we not about self-preservation!! THAt is, if me and Dana ever make it back to Wizz Central!!! I feel like this trip is gonna end like Badlands, with me in the Sissy Spacek role! But the Wizznutzz never want honest Abe to sell, even though it might bring a winner here. WHy? What would the Wizznutzz be without 10 day contracts, non-playoff seasons, Jimmy Lynham/Gar Heard/Leonard Hamilton/Phantom Collins, Kw. Brown, and the loss of Ben Wallace/Chris Webber/Sheed Wallace/Rip Hamilton/Randell Jackson? WE'd be nowhere, instead of being number one in yourr hearts!!!! So Abe, keep running the team like it's a family. Keep hiring incompetant people that you fall in love with on the first date. Keep overpaying old and crusty players that you traded for younger, more nubile and pliant players. Keep treating the team like a broken down old mare (not like a Jordan Mule), one that just needs a bed of hay, not a waterbed of moisture, one that needs to travel in a cart behind a piuckup, not on a personal jet with beverages. Please keep giving the Caps the shaft at the MCI Center, and please keep screaming down the greatest player ever. Why? BECAUSE WE LOVE OUR KWAME AND WE LOVE OUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ken - 12:07 AM

 

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The Wizznutzz experts commentaries on the 2002-03 season. Updated frequently!!!