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Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Hey evyerboyd!!!! IT"S KEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me and Dana spent the night at Big Buck last night watching the Salieri's last home game as a Bullett !! Big Buck is in Michigan near the Palace of Auburn Hills and it's the official bar of the WizzNutzz!!! Dana wanted to come to Michigan becuase she's CONVINCED that's where Chico Debarge is nearby, actually, in Flint, Michigan!!! I mentioned to Dana, "Dear, Queen of all that is good and great in Stockholm, I think you are mistaking the DeBarge posse's hometown for the band Ready for the World's home ice advantage!!!!" I'm convinced of this because Dana has beeen calling herself "Sheila" for several days in a row now!! HIGHLY UNLIKELY!!!

Naturally the Bullets Retrio lost to the New Knickerbockers and SAlieri was honored by Mr. & Mrs. Drummond after the game by giving 15 computers to 18 public schools in Washington DC in SALeri's name!!! Salieri, being gracious, waved and walked off the court withou saying anything to the Wizz fans that have come to see him 41 times this year desipte him ruining their team. THANKS SALLY!!!! Arrivaderche!!!! Don't let Ike Austin's Cheeseboot hit you on the way out the door!!

Naturally all the DC writers are ringing their hand and writing odes to SAlly!!! Black Thansgiving WIlbon says that the Bullets are better off that MJ played here for two years because they sold more hats!!! REALLY!!! It's just another example of the cranberry sauce and triptophan going to Wilber's head!!! B Thanksgive also writes this: "In the sorry, no-account Eastern Conference this club should have made the playoffs." I wonder if Wilby has the phrase "sorry, no-account Eastern Conference " set up in of of his F keys (F12, me thinks) since he writes or says it more often than Dana/Shelia says "Bring me the luscious DEBARGE!!!" Then B Thanks writes this blasphemy "This is why, as engaging as Brown is and as physically talented as he may be, he shouldn't have been drafted with the No. 1 pick in the first place and the Wizards' executives who drafted him have only themselves to blame." WIZARDS EXECUTIVES? Er, that would be MICHAEL SALIERI !!!!! The man you just fellated in print FOR HOW great he is for the franchise!!! (I'M LEARNING TO LOVE THE LANGUAGE, DANA/SHELIA!!!) Black Thanksgiving is a lost soul who writes from a golden throne in the MCI Center bathroom. While I too am writing this in a learning annex bathroom, there's nothing golden about it other than what's left in the urinals. Fitting, fitting....

For a better written exampel of why SAlieri was good for Wizz, see our Friend DC Dave Aldridge!!! We love you desperately, DC Dave!!

Meanwhile, Big Dumb Walton gets all Dido on SAlieri!!! Dear Billbo Baggins, columns aren't just lists and Grateful Dead references! They include connecting sentences! BElive me, I know!! LOOK AT THIS COLUMN FOR HIGH-QUALIUTTT Y EXAMPEL!!!

This is from the Washington Times; they titled it "shameful":
"When Jordan was announced at the start of the game, his last at MCI Center, one of the curiosities was just how long the ovation would last. After all, in Jordan's final appearance in Chicago the ovation lasted almost five minutes. The MCI Center faithful clocked in at just under 30 seconds."
Me and Dana/Shelia would like to say that's about 29 seconds too long.

THE PLAYERS HATE THE PHANTOM!!! That's right, Doug the Phantom Collins says he was disrespected by players cuz they yelled at him and cursed him. UHHHHH, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO TO THEM EVERYDAY!!! People don't like yelling, Phantom. I mean, i like when Dana/Shelia yells at me because it makes me feel safe, like I'm back in sunny Stockholm and basking in the warmth of security and smelling salts, but I don't like whne others yell. (ANdy Pollin used to CRUSH me in front of the crew over at WTEM!!! HATED IT!). Here's another thing Phantom says: "Collins, meantime, said that the problems in the locker room that have boiled over have been taking place practically all season." Now, who's fault is that Phantom/SAlieri two-headed hydra of police-state mentality? Tha'ts right, yours!!!! The WizzNutzz heard about a practice fight earlier in the season and they checked all their high profile sources but no one could confirm story. WE RAN WITH IT ANYWAY!!! But Phantom's disharmonious comments pretty much prove the fight. Isn't it obvious that Jerry Stackhouse HATES the Phantom's dumb perimeter ball-swinging offense and that he WONT be back next year? 100% chance, Lance.

Brendan Haywood said he resents that Collins keeps lumping all the young guys together for criticism, while old guy Byron Russell says of Collins, "I haven't disrespected him, not yet." GIVE IT TIME, B RUSS!! There's one game left and an entire summer to fire off stingers!!!

Now there are thoughts that Collins might not come back year because the players hatred of him is "insidious". PRAY TO GHOSTS OF LEONARD HAMILTON AND GAR HEARD THAT IT COMES TRUE!!

OK, I hear the security guard coming!!! And I can also hear the high-pitched screams of Dana/Shelia and it's both scaring and warming me!! SEE YOU ALL SOON!!

Ken - 7:53 AM




The Wizznutzz experts commentaries on the 2002-03 season. Updated frequently!!!