It's gettin hot in here , so I took off all my clothes!!!!!
GREETINGS FROM HOTLANTA, PLAYAS!!!!
I haven't seen this much rich, hot ass since I danced at the Gold Club!!!!
LOOK AT THE BIGGEST NEWS OUT OF HOTLANTA ALLSTAT BREAK!!!
RIC BUCH FOUND IKE AUSTIN!!! Lookit what Buch says about the man they now call Honorable Ira:
Chris Gatling is back from his stint playing in Russia and has returned to Florida, where rumor has it he'll be opening up a night club. Gatling, who went overseas this fall, lasted far longer than Yinka Dare and J.R. Reid did in China. The two went to play in the Chinese Basketball Association last week and returned a day later. Another ex-NBAer, Ike Austin, apparently is sticking with it.
THat's so cool, Buch!! Good reportering---sort of: where does Ike Play? WE STILL RESPECT YOU MR: BUCH, but Inquring Minds EVERYWhere want ta know. I took off my sexy female fedora with front meshing for that myserious and coy look, and put on my Reporter's Fedora (coffee stained, filled with donuts) and I went looking for FORmer Wizzards great and THE MAN WE TRADED BEN WALLACE FOR, and look at what I found:
There is so much great stuff on this highly nonupdated Web site that I thought, hey I have to take a break from dating CBA hopefuls down here in Hotlanta (It really is Black Thanksgiving!! I've been eating so much protein!!!!) and give some highlights to the site. (P.S. It says he plays for the Canada Vancouver Grizzlies for the China League!! AWESOME TRANS-PACIFIC TEAM !!! That's Honorable Ike Austin for ya!!!)
--Here is a photo of Ike "getting his groove on" even though it looks more like he's decaying. It's cool that at some point Ike intended to SELL photos just like this one but he never got around to putting up the sales cart on his site. Oh what I wouldn't do to have this photo in a poster-sized format. I wonder if Ike would sign it with his blood? Dreams are for free, people!!!
---Here's is Ike's clothing specs---he LOVES LINEN---from his edutainmental bio page (I think he got fat again. That's OK, IKE!! Chubs and Chasers are still welcome in the Wizzards clubhouse!! Hidi says, "HI, IKE!! Want a slice? Have two!!!""
W A R D R O B E S P E C I F I C S:
height: 6’10” weight: 270 shirt: 4X pant: 42w XL l shoe: 18 ring: 14 eyes:brown hair:blk fav.color: black fav. fabric: linen
--Here is the very detailed and remarkable thought out info page for Ike's chartity foundation!! Have a heart!! Donate today!!!
--Here is Ike's World!!! Look at all EXHAUSTIVE list of his hobbies and all his fave things!!! HOW DOES HE KEEP UP?
--The bio page is filled with tons of genuinally edutaintional moments, and it reads like a resume---why Ike? you have a job. IN CHINA!!!. Here are a few more:>>>
>>>Here is a nice line about what Ike thinks about the shortage of Manchilds and foreign players in the NBA: "There is a shortage of fresh, young talent coming out of college and Europe." IKE IS VERY CURRENT and ACCURATE, so says Bron Bron, Yao Ming and Peja!!!!
>>>Goals: "Another goal is to become a marketing icon." YOU ARE, IKE!!! IN CHINA!!!
>>>And the mos def classic: "T O T A L P A C K A G E: Isaac Austin is a Center that will hurt you inside with his tremendous repertoire of moves and outside with his feather touch." I CAN ATTEST TO ALL THOSE STATEMENTS FIRST HAND!!!
Dana - 10:00 PM