OH MY GOD!!
IS IT A MIRAGE?
DANA'S BACK ON THE MIC
ROCKIN' YA HARD!
Hey playas, the WizzNutzz blog has been quiet as of late because James and Christopher have been involved in all sorts of business and promotional efforts, which means they've had me, Darvin and Ken hopping around the office!! Ken is also limping around the office, but that's a long story strifed with legalities. James and Christopher just completed a long interview with Sports Fan Magazine and their ace reporter and the newest member of the WizzNutzz extended family, Mr. Pete Sweigard !!! The Sports Fan feature on WizzNutzz will run in the mag's February issue and it should be on their website as well. You may have seen Sports Fan magazine blowing around various venue's bathrooms, from the Green Turtle in Laurel to Grevey's in Falls Church. On behalf of the WizzNutzz, we thanks Sports Fan for allowing us to spread our words in stalls and urinals throughout the DC Metro Area !!!
On the business end, the Juan Dixon Antiseptic Bacon Dispenser, prototype #2, has received the necessary venture captial to proceed. We will lock intern Ken in a room alone with the Bacon Dispenser's exploratory preserves, a chemical concoction that keeps the bacon both fresh and crisp. During the testings of prototype #1, Ken unfortunately suffered eye damage. He has since recovered. Mostly. Except for the scars. And the nightmares...
So many Kwame stories I can hardly stop touching myself !!! After his mos def and season-high performance against the Chi Bulls, the Manchild played about five clicks in the 107-104 double overtime win against the Indiana Pace Pace. Then Young Kwames played 19 minutes in the 100-95 win against Boston yesterday. What is our muse to do, when he doesn't know whether he should strip off his sweatpants and the show the world is smooth, long and lean legs to the world, or leave them on and snuggle up to Brian Cardinal for an evening of pine riding? It's a devastating mind excavation of our Kwames and it must stop NOW!!! Alderman Unseld, hear our prayers.
Kwames also came up as the subject of trade rumors----NNNNOOOOOO!!!!----but luckily the Phantom squashed them. There is no truth to the rumor that Salieri shook his head side to side while grinning wildly even as Coach Phantom spoke out against those rumors. Also in the linked story right there, it says Pat Ewing, who played high school ball in the Boston area, was given a piece of the Boston Garden's old famous floor. That's so cool!!!! The Gold Club also gave Pat Ewing one of its dancing poles and a galvanized plate of beans !!!
Our fave play of the Boston game is when Jerry Stackhouse tried to stab Paul Pierce. No, not with a knife, rather Stack tried to jab his forearm through Pierce's sternum, and the lover of G-Wiz was given a flagrant foul on the play. Pierce pushed Stack back but it was like a fly bouncing off stone. Then Pierce too got a technical and the Boston coach got one, and everyone shot and made free throws and Executive Nachos were ordered and everyone felt good, except Ken who spent much of the evening working things out in the "Mothering Hut." He was VERY bad recently. Think kerosene, matches and a whole lot of tape and leather...
Salieri was named player of the week, and even we Wizznutzz admit he deserved it, even if we are struggling with such magnanimousosity. But while Salieri is a Wizz, and even beyond, we will love him mos defly. But we will not trust him, lord, no sir, we will not trust that man, not even to hold Kwame's Jahidi Thong (tm).
Check out this excellent article on Ron Artest by Eric Adelson, the Indy Pacer who just crushed the Madison Square camera and who broke Salieri's ribs in 2001 during an offseason scrimmage. You, Ron Ron, are an honorary WNutz. And so are you Mr. Eric, and so are you!
Dana - 7:59 PM