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Thursday, January 30, 2003

 
Oh my crap! A BRIAN CARDINAL SIGHTING!!! HE was in street clothes on the Wizz bench tongiht in Milwaukee. He's traveling with the team even despite that chronic but fake knee tendenitous. Hidi was on the bench too. He looked awfully large, more chub than chaser. WE SUPPORT HIS DECISIONS TO EAT UP TO 100%

The was one of three hihglights to tonight's heartbreaking loss to the Bucks. The other highlights? Kwame tying his career high for points with 20 with 9+ miniutes left in the 4th quarter---and him never scoring again despite playing the whole time. He sweats too profusely, being the moist Manchild that he is, and the ball just slips out of his allegedly too-small and highly water-retaining hands sometimes. That and because he's like whipped dog, afraid to make a mistake in front of Saleri, so he gets really unsure with the ball and just drops it; it's serious and sad to see our OG Narcissuss, the Manchild Brown, so tenative even as he played a dominating game!! Oh, and speaking of of tentative hands----OK, pure stone----our Main Manchild's Friend, ETan "POetry" Thomas was a monster tongiht!!! He is a banger and played good D and had 12 johnny rebs. Here's what Salieri said about the "young kids" play: ""It was a great learning experience for our young guys to think soundly; a couple times they didn't." It's always good to think soundly. I think soundly all the time; there's this excrutiating white noise and a high-pitched whine. It's so very soundly!!!

Meanwhile, Stack couldn't hit the broadside of G-Wiz's costume tonight and he left the game with another groinal injury in his debarge area after shooting 2 for 13; Jer Jer is out until AFTER the allstar break. Quelle horror pour nous League de Fantasy Jour Joue!!! Meanwhile, Juan-Ton Dizxon did NOT PLAY AGAIN! What the hell, Phantom, what the hell?

I wish the Wizz ran more pick and rolls. I like rolls. Especially on Hidi. But they just let their shooters isolate and create off the dribble or through perimeter passes. Teams CRUSH the Wizz usingg the pick and roll because our big 'ums don't know how to rotate off the pick. Why can't we do the same thing to their big galutes? Here's my ethereal rap I wrote to emphasize my recommendations: "Dump the ball + pick and roll/Do it now, Wizz, before I steal your souls!"

Oh, and while we hate to complain about the refs, they must have been paid off in fresh Bratwurst and Old Milwaukee kegs because they suxxed and screwed the Wizz many times over. Lucky that the Phantom didn't pull a Sloan on yer asses, you bastard loving sausages!!!

They're going after Bron Bron again! Why? Because he got some free throwback jerseys: one of Chicago Bears Gayle Sayers and one of BULLET LEGEND and THE ALDERMAN's brother!!! WES UNSELD!!!! Holy crapola!! Those Unseld things cost $450, and they are the numebr one sellers in the NBA. That's a whole lotta Wes stained mesh fabric!!

Meanwhile, Salieri turned down T Mac's offer (and an earlier offer by A.I. the week before) to take his place as a starter in the Allstar Game. Oh, how benificent, Oh Salieri One! Thanks for not starting a game you don't deserve to start. Perhaps you should stay home and let Jer Jer Binkz take your place on the Allstar REserves. That would be truly beneficient and magnificent and otherstufficent, Oh SAlieri One. (P.S. G-Wiz would give you a hummer. To drive.)

Dana - 8:08 PM

 

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The Wizznutzz experts commentaries on the 2002-03 season. Updated frequently!!!