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Monday, January 20, 2003

 
Lot's of linkin' to do as we've been slacking. Darvin was put on probation for his lack of updating, and me, the Dana Dane, was repremanded harshly with a stern warning from The Elders. Meanwhile, Ken has been in the Mothering Hut for a week now. I can handle the screams coming from him; it's the whimpering and begging that distresses me. Either way, The Elders are right and we've not been doing our WizzNutzz interning duties to their fullest potential. I'd like to apologize to our two regular readers for our dropping the ball like Etan on a postup move.

Our first link involves Kwame praying for Bron BroN!!! That's reported by our Main Manchild Chronicler mr. Marc Stein (order the beer mug we named after him from the WizzNutzz WizzBizz online store right here!!!). It's heartbreaking to hear Kwames say to Bron Bron, "I'm scared for him. I'm going to pray for him.....Just stay positive with yourself and keep your family with yourself. They're the only ones who'll be with him if he doesn't do well early." OR like Kw.Bronwm, trust WITH WIZZNUTZZ, Bron!!! We love all manchilds and support you and your Hummer 100% !!!

Kwames had a tuff game against that one team 76ers on Saturday. He hurt his hand and hadda go for X-rays and then sat out the third---he's OK, phew!!!!---but in the fourth he gota bloody nose late in the game and had to leave. No truth to the rumor that a Memoribiliaa Collector asked Kwame for his bloodied shirt and moist undergarments to sell as a set on eBay. Well, there is truth to that rumor but Christopher asked me to discount it until he could get the bidding up to more than $6. AND I'm ALL about following directions from The Elders now!!! Larry Hughes also had a "stomach virus" and hadda leave the game. JUSt say that LH hadda take a doot and splat !!! He had to pinch a loose loaf and drop a busload of kids off at the school. That's no virus, that's life!!!

This story is all about our favorite Trotsky Toothpick, Mr. Larry Hughes!! and how he's a great man and thmost improved and he deserves awards for it and Immodium AD and other such badges!!! And here's ANOTHER Story about Trotsky, and its titled "Hughes' Hardcourt Boogie"!!! What? Trotsky's nickname is Boogie!!!! That's why!!! In this article LH says "I'm going to rock it until the wheels fall off" and Tyronn Lue calls Boogie "lengthy." Mos def.

Here's an interview withSis Chris!!! In it, Sis Chris says "you have to stretch more, you have to ice more." We know all about your stretching!! See proof here!! What I love most about it is the photo they use to accompany each one of his answers. IT'S VERY Close to Sister Christian's floppy-hair era, which I love so much I can taste it!!!!

Here's a good story about Wizz Big Men getting involved. NO! NOt chubs and chasers, you perv, we're talking Kwames, Brendan, Etan & Sis Chris. We just have one thing to say to the Phantom: thanks for finally calling some plays for our Big Lads!!! You actually passed the ball into Brendan a few times at the beginning of the Magic game, and he pounded them like Darvin does Black Labels!!! Our course, you abandoned it about 5 mins into the game, so it was really a quicky but it was nice while it lasted (not the first time I heard that!!)

This little nuggett features Brendan "Hay" Haywood talking trash on Tyson Chandler, the Number One Enemy of Our Dear Kw.Brown, since Ty Chan was picked for the NBA sophmore - rookie game and Hay and Kw. were ignored!!! How can you ignore the Manchild and his sidekick?

Here's a completely nonsensical story with an overlong metaphor that does nothing but junk up whatever the writer is trying to say. JUST LIKE WIZZNUTZZ!! Tom Knott, the writer, goes on about Dr. Aaron McKie giviing Salieri a physical and how he pulled out gloves for an exam and other weird fetish objects. MAN O' MAN!!! Tom Knott, you are now an honorary member of our Internship Team!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!! WE DON"T UNDERSTAND YOU, BUT WE LOVE YOU!!!!

Here's a thing about JEr Jer Binz tender groin and Hidi's tender tenderness. Hidi's gonna be out for a good long time and Jer Jer is gonna be back this week, or so our Fantasies Team hope as we pray for his groin and to regain his supple touch----supple scoring touch.

Our good friend Sheed Wallace was suspended for 7 games because he lipped off to a ref. THAT'S A LIE!!!! A TOTAL FABRICATION!!! NO WAY SHEEd would say ANTHNING BAD TO SOMEBODY!!!!! I can't believe how people bend the truth. For instance, people said that me and Ken had a thing going on due to some incriminating stray Xeroxes that were found around the office after the WizzNutzz Xmas party. Let's just say that, yes, I gave Ken a Christmas present, but that doesn't mean there's a relationship there. HARDLY!! Despitre the expression on Ken's face in the Xerox, we are not a couple. At least I think it's Ken's face on the Zerox.

Dana - 1:42 PM

 

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The Wizznutzz experts commentaries on the 2002-03 season. Updated frequently!!!